hubby: wow everyone in your family was matching except for Saleha
hmmm...she wanted to wear her susral wala suit again huh?
me: *laughing* yeah :)
Alhamdullilah Moments
I come down the stairs all dressed up for an eid dinner party
Belal (my two year old) notices my new outfit, likes it and immediately says "mashaAllah Mama"
: )
The peaceful protest you won’t hear about on the news - Kabul, Afghanistan.
(Source: nascentminded, via doctorwithborder)
Teaching Quran to kids
I remember learning the Quran as something academic; something I had to learn to read as a Muslim. It was never explained to me WHY I was learning to read this, nor was it explained to me what this book actually was. Most of us grew up this way through no fault of those who raised us. We learned how to read the Quran but never did we learn that it was the guidance for our life, never was the relationship with the quran stressed. We learned the Quran from people who had memorized the Quran but didn’t necessarily understand it, or had a relationship with it themselves. Hence many times we were threatend with punishment if we didn’t read it correctly. As my son begins to hit the age of three and as I start to figure out how I am going to teach him, there are some things in my mind that I have promised to do/or not do when it comes to teaching the Quran. Here’s a list of those:
1. I must love the Quran, have a relationship with the Quran and understand its importance in order to teach my kids to love this book and turn to it for Guidance. Have you ever taken a class from a professor that really loves what he is teaching? If you have you will realize that when they love it, it is so easy to love learning it even if it is not a subject that you like. This is how I want my kids to learn and I want them to be around teachers who teach them because they love the Quran themselves.
2. The Quran can never be taught by threatening the kids with punishment if they don’t get their words right. Wouldn’t it be better if we instead told the kids about the hadith that there is reward even for the one who struggles with his pronounciation of the Quran? in fact that person’s reward is more since he is struggling to learn the word of Allah. What a beautiful motivator for the kids.
3. The Quran must be taught in a beautiful environment. There’s got to be a place in the house that’s like serene, beautiful and comfortable where we teach our kids the Quran. They will want to stay longer in a this beautiful enviornment instead of wanting to finish everything fast so they can relax in their room.
4. The meaning and the Why’s of the Quran should be taught. Why are we learning this book? After we learn to read it correctly how do we use it in our personal lives? etc, etc. Kids are full of questions, they should know the heavy weight of what they are learning and have all their why questions answered. Also after the everyday lesson of reading in arabic, at least a half hour should be spent on the meaning/tafseer of it.
That’s my starting point for now, I’m sure I’ll be adding more as I actually start this journey inshaAllah. May Allah make it easy for me to teach this book with sincerity and may Allah make it easy for our children to sincerely learn this book and to love it and turn to it in every situation. Ameen!
bittersweet
Mom Just told me I can’t attend Sisters’ engagment in New Jersey because I am pregnant and she doesn’t want anything to happen to me. This is so bittersweet because I understand where she’s coming from but I really don’t want to miss her magni :(
Congrats to My Baby Sis
Event such as engagements/weddings of family members you grew up with often trigger memories of childhood…memories that were buried deep but now appear in front of you like it happened yesterday. The engagement of my baby sister triggered a strong memory of her childhood that has been playing over and over in my mind. We had just brought my sis home from the hospital, I remember my mom laying in our courtyard with family members gathered around her. My mom was crying and I (being 9 at the time) couldn’t understand why. Then I thought “Oh no something is wrong with my baby sister.” So I went to go look at her in her little crib type bed she was sleeping in and mashaAllah she was so cute. But then why is mom crying, I thought. My dad and his sisters were all gathered around her trying to comfort her.
Later on I found out that some of the neighborhood ladies had stopped by when they heard my mom had given birth and upon seeing a perfectly healthy baby girl they had made the jahliyah comment that “oh it’s another girl.” At that my mom had started crying and my dad and had requested them to leave. I was furious with them for making that comment. Isn’t it enough that Allah blessed us with a healthy baby? Why wasn’t it ever enough for people when my parents were perfectly happy with what they had? I just remember being so happy that I got another sister and I remember wanting to protect her and my other sisters.
That feeling of wanting to protect never went away, in fact it increased with time especially after I became a mother. I remember at school, when her friends teased her, I wanted to take her out of school. Or if a boy showed interest in her, I wanted to punch him….:) Still to this day, when she got engaged, I didn’t want to tell people because I didn’t want her to get nazr. I am still avoiding going to any family members’ house because I dont’ want to say anything to them that may make them jealous and give her nazr. Yes I know this is a little extreme, but hey she’s my baby sister and until they get the nikkah inshaAllah and add Allah’s barakah to their engagement I will always be careful. I am really sad that I didn’t get a chance to be a better sister for when I started realizing the haqq that my younger siblings had upon me, I was already on my way to getting married. Also I know Belal will really miss her when she moves to NJ inshaAllah, he loves his khalas. And now that I am an adult I realize what a blessing khalas are..they are like your second mother for each of them remind you of something about your mother.
okay this has turned into the most randomest post but just wanted to say Congrats to my sis. May Allah bless her with a marriage that is filled with His barkah. May Allah make her husband the coolness of her eyes and vice versa. May He grant them both healthy, beautiful, and pious offsprings that will be the coolness of their eyes. Ameen ya rabul alameen.!
Lady in the bathroom sees me washing my feet in the sink and says:
“why do you do that?”
“Oh i have to wash up before I pray.” I respond.
“yeah but why do you put your feet in our sink.” she says
“um because I have to wash my feet before I pray.” I respond.
“yeah but why do you do that. it’s just really weird.” she says and walks away and she has this expression of disgust on her face that says “you are dumb and you should stop doing this because I don’t like it.”
Reflection #1. My first reaction of course was anger after she left. “you think I am weird? I can name a thousand things about your ridiculous man made culture that are beyond weird!!!!!!”
Reflection #2. Then I thought what did she mean OUR sink? what? the sink belongs to only white people who have promised not to wash their feet in it. or does she pay extra for the maintainence of the sink or something. Last time I checked I was an employee just like her at the building but I love the whole colonial thinking that when I don’t like something it’s because you are using something that is “OURS” ….right and all the sudden we have no right to it. Good one! isn’t that how you got the land you are standing on today lady? um by stealing it from those that it belonged to and calling it “ours”?
Reflection #3: No matter how much we say it doesn’t matter what others think, it does matter. We are social human beings and we are highly effected by what others think of us. Most of us want to be liked and accepted. So when something like this happens It reminds me of Taif and what the Prophet (peace be upon him) endured. I never really internalized it until now that it really sucks to have people hate you solely because of your beliefs and it takes a very strong heart to stand up for them and make du’a after they insult you. Mine was just insults of the tongue but the Prophet (peace be upon him) suffered so much more. Subhanallah! and he was still patient. It also made me think of the civil rights movement of this country and how people had to endure endless jeering and rude comments just to go to school with the whites. SubhanAllah all those history pictures I remember seeing of little girls trying to go to the same school as whites or riding the same bus ..all those pics, I never felt the sadness those blacks felt when they were ridiculed until today.
Reflection #4: it takes enormous courage and a strong heart to stand up for what you believe and to be looked at as an alien simply for your beliefs.
Me: (to hubby) can you bring me a trash bag from downstairs.
Hubby: Here I brought you two
Me: Oh man, I should've asked for a car
: )
Why Marriage is Awesome
1. It gives you security …that same secure feeling you felt when growing up in your parents’ house, over time you feel that feeling with your spouse.
2. You are always learning. Through good times and bad you are constantly learning about the other person and about yourself.
3. It makes you grow. Having the best Ikhlaq with your spouse is so much harder than having it with others. Hence you learn to work on your character and it makes you grow into a better person inshaAllah.
4. You have someone to go everywhere with. Remember that trip you wanted to take to see that one place, well now you can go there with someone and enjoy it.
5. It gives you confidence. A supporting spouse really boosts your confidence level and can help you accomplish many things which you thought you couldn’t do before.
6. It brings you back to reality! Hollywood/bollywood movies got nothing on real life. Marriage pushes you to live in this world and that if you really want a beautiful life with no sadness, you would have to work for jannah!
7. It can be a source for you to see the fruit of your heart…i.e your children.
And there are many more wisdoms behind marriage, most of course are clear solely to Allah. But there is a reason why marriage is highly encouraged in Islam, so don’t delay this sunnah and if possible get married as soon as possible to a pious person with a beautiful character.
